What is Child Abuse?

Child abuse is any action or failure to act that creates a dangerous situation for a child by negatively affecting his or her physical or emotional well-being or impeding his or her natural development. Child abuse is shocking and can be deadly. It injures its victims physically and emotionally, leaving scars on the body and mind that are often difficult, if not impossible, to remove.  Child abuse takes a number of forms: physical, sexual, emotional, and abuse by neglect. Each form of child abuse involves its own perpetrators, methods, signs of abuse and resulting trauma for the child.

What are the Risk Factors of SBS? Many factors can be linked to SBS including a tired or inexperienced care provider, history of violence, history of drug or alcohol abuse, financial stress, child with medical problems, low self esteem, and baby colic. The problem occurs in families of all races, incomes and educational levels.

How many children are injured or die from SBS? Although hard to determine exact numbers, it’s estimated that there are 1,000 to 3,000 cases of SBS in the US each year. One out of every 3-4 shaken babies dies from injuries, some usually within hours or days. Of the survivors who have been shaken violently, very few escape permanent damage.

What are the Signs of Child Abuse?Children and teenagers go through difficult phases in their lives and may experience one or more of the following symptoms through accidents, natural life cycles, and trauma unassociated with abuse. Abuse is best indicated by these signs when they occur in conjunction with each other over a significant period of time, with a possible escalation of symptoms.

• Unexplained cuts, burns, bruises or welts, possibly in the shape of common household products such as spatulas or curling irons
• Burns that cover an entire hand or foot to resemble a glove or sock
• Bite marks
• Anti-social behavior
• Problems in school
• Fear of adults
• Drug or alcohol abuse
• Self-injury or suicidal behavior
• Depression or poor self-image
• Apathy
• Hostility
• Lack of concentration
• Eating disorders or drastic changes in appetite
• Inappropriate interest in or knowledge of sexual acts
• Seductiveness
• Avoidance of sexuality or genitalia
• Nightmares and bed wetting
• Excessive compliance or aggression
• Fear of a particular person or family member
• Withdrawal and secretiveness
• Unsuitable clothing for weather
• Unkempt or unwashed appearance
• Extreme hunger
• Apparent lack of supervision

What are the Results of Child Abuse?Abuse affects children differently and in a number of ways. Some of the physical, behavioral, and emotional effects of child abuse include:

• Infants may lack muscle tone and suffer from delayed social and lingual development, inhibiting their ability to smiling, coo and speak.
• Infants may suffer delays in motor coordination, affecting their ability to turn over, reach for toys, sit and crawl. 
• Children suffer long and short-term bodily injuries such as broken bones or brain damage.
• Children have difficulty establishing personal relationships.
• Children face difficulty with touch, intimacy, trust and general physical closeness.
• Children become deceptive towards others or fearful of their environment.
• Children become reclusive and alienate themselves from loved ones.
• Children suffer from abnormally high levels of depression and anxiety and may experience substance abuse.
• Children may suffer from confused sexual identity or mental disorders such as autism.
• Children misbehave at school, work or in other public places.
• Children develop a low self-image and feelings of worthlessness, which may lead to self-destructive behaviors and even suicide.
• Children have trouble obeying the law, and indulge in illegal behaviors such as stealing, arson and prostitution.
• Children may deliberately act out in order to focus the abuse on them instead of another loved one.
• Children continue the cycle of abuse by becoming an abusive parent or caregiver

What Can I Do? The first step to child abuse is prevention. Teachers and caretakers should learn what they can do to help keep others or even themselves from harming a child, including the triggers of child abuse and appropriate outlets for anger and anxiety.  They should also take time to learn the warning signs and symptoms of child abuse and the appropriate channels by which to report the abuse.

Parents and guardians can teach children to listen to their feelings and say “no” if an action does not feel appropriate, keep children away from questionable situations, instruct children never to accept rides or gifts from strangers, and explain appropriate behaviors for adult-child relationships. Parents should take care to screen the friends, family members, and other adults with whom their children associate, and thoroughly research daycare personnel before leaving their children in outside care. Parents can also prevent abuse by monitoring and restricting children’s reading materials, video games, television and Internet use, and explain why the behaviors that their children experience in the media are not always appropriate in real life situations.

The second step is coping with existing cases of child abuse, which begins with identifying victims. Every parent, caregiver, and other adult who comes into contact with children should be aware of the prevalence and dangers of child abuse.  Learn the warning signs that a child may be experiencing abuse or neglect and contact the appropriate parties.  Because child abuse is extremely destructive, children need to be comforted, reassured that the abuse is not their fault, educated about the abuse, and then placed in the care of nurturing and supportive adults.

Abused children need to know that child abuse is not an acceptable form of punishment, that they did not provoke the behavior, and that they could not have done anything to improve the situation.  Children should be told the truth about what happened and why the behavior was wrong.

In order to break the cycle of child abuse, abusers must acknowledge that their actions were wrong and be motivated to change their ways. They must learn to channel their emotions through positive outlets in order meet their children’s physical and emotional needs and abandon destructive behaviors. Abusers are encouraged to seek professional help, such as Parents Anonymous, to overcome alcohol and drug addictions, curb violent actions, and restore family cohesiveness.

WARNING SIGNS OF A BAD CARE PROVIDER/BABYSITTER

Finding any babysitter can be a challenge for many parents, but being comfortable with and confident that the one you've picked will keep your kids safe and happy can be somewhat unnerving. Here are some warning signs that you’ve hired a bad babysitter, and need to find someone else pronto!

Doesn't Engage in Conversation with Parent
It's not too much to expect for a sitter to greet parents, smile and engage in some small talk. He/she should ask about the kids, wish you a good time, and converse long enough to make you feel comfortable. Be concerned if the sitter doesn't do the same with the kids either; that bodes a major disconnect that could signal a strong lack of communication all-around.

Doesn't Seem to Care or Focus on Instructions Provided
A good sitter should note instructions you're providing and acknowledge a thorough understanding. If you're telling the sitter that kids must have a bath and be in bed at a certain time, and she is going "yeah, right, whatever" or doesn't seem to be paying attention to anything you're saying, you should worry about any follow-through occurring. Parents can help avoid this by providing written instructions; however, a quality sitter will take notes or be able to recite the information back.

Arrives Late or is Frequently Unreliable
Family emergencies or the unavoidable can certainly happen, but a chronically late or consistently canceling babysitter can create a huge hardship on parents and destroy best-laid plans. If your sitter doesn't care enough about the job to arrive on time and be sensitive of your plans, then find one who will! The same is true of a sitter who tells parents as they are getting ready to dash out the door that they must be home at a designated time that is different from what had been agreed to.

Kids Wail About Being Left Alone with Her (or Him)
It's not unusual for kids to not want to be apart from mom or dad. But if a kid becomes an emotional wreck over being left with a particular sitter, then parents should have second-thoughts about using that person. It could be nothing more than separation anxiety, or the kid being told "no" and holding it against the sitter; or it could signify something more. If parents find that it is an individual only vs. having a sitter in general, then look elsewhere the best interest of your child.

Kids Show A Change of Behavior While Awake or Change in Sleep Pattern
If a normally outgoing and independent child suddenly becomes clingy and withdrawn, or begins waking up throughout the night with terrors or other sleep issues, and the change can be attributed to timing with a sitter, then parents should be concerned. Children's behaviors can change, even dramatically, but these are warning signs that should not be ignored. Parents should react swiftly and decisively, and determine whether further investigaton is warranted.

Kids Seem to Have Frequent Accidents
A cut or scrape or two is a normal occurrence with healthy and active kids, and should present no cause for alarm with parents. Still, a good babysitter will be quick to offer an explanation (i.e. a trip to the park resulted in a spill from the slide). But frequent accidents that result in injuries beyond that could signify either a lack of supervision or worse, physical abuse. Accidents should serve as flags that could signal trouble, especially if they seem excessive.

Invites Someone Else Over (Without Your Permission)
Sitters sometimes gain the confidence of families, and then with time feel "entitled" to invite a friend or even date over during the evening. While parents sometimes even offer this to help relieve nerves of being in a home alone with kids, it's out of line for a sitter to assume this action is okay. Chances are, your kids will receive less direct attention and interaction if your sitter has someone else there as well. And, without asking first? That's a good reason for termination.

Seems Lethargic, Exhausted
You've hired a babysitter to watch your children while you're out having a good time (or at least kid-free time), so the least of your worries should be whether your kids are entertained and having safe fun in your absence. A sitter who arrives seemingly exhausted or without energy is not going to provide quality care. Parents should worry about lack of supervision, or a sitter who simply plants tots in front of the TV and gives orders for not being disturbed.

Questions to Ask a Prospective Care Provider/Babysitter
1.  Have you babysat previously? If so, please describe your experience.
2.  Have you received any specialized training for child care (such as first aid/CPR, attended a babysitter course, or taken related school courses)?
3.  Do you regularly work/volunteer with kids? If so, please describe (such as helping out with youth dance classes, serving as a sports assistant, etc.).
4.  Are your immunizations current?
5.  Do you have any health restrictions that could affect your ability to babysit? (Yes, it really is okay to ask this question. For example, if you have three cats and the candidate is terribly allergic to cats, then this could be a problem. Or, if you have someone who can't access stairs but the kids' beds are on the 2nd floor, you need to know that before making a hiring decision.
6.  Is there an adult or family member nearby in the event of an emergency whom you could contact? (This question is relevant if you are considering using a teenager or person who does not drive.)
7.  Why do you enjoy working with children?
8.  What activities will you plan with my kid(s) when I am gone? (Ask this question to determine whether the potential babysitter plans any games, crafts or child-friendly activities in your absence.)
9.  What age children do you most enjoy? Least enjoy? Why? Which age group are you most comfortable/experienced with?
10.  What is your overall child care philosophy? (Yes, you can and should even ask this of a teenage babysitter.)
11.  Do you know how to change a diaper...and are you comfortable with changing even the really messy kinds?
12.  Do you know how to administer medicine? (If your child has a cold, for example, and needs some medicine or is on oral antibiotics, you want to make sure the babysitter is comfortable in not only giving the proper dosage, but doing so safely.)
13.  What will you do if the kids aren't getting along (or worse, fighting)? How will you handle separation anxiety (if this is a potential issue?) Ask these questions if the potential babysitter will care for more than one child and if "missing parents" is a likely concern.
14.  What will you do if my child won't mind you or exhibits bad behavior such as biting? (This is an insightful question to determine how the potential babysitter processes the question and provides you with an answer. This also provides insight on disciplinary approaches.)
15.  Under what type of situation would you call me? (Ask this to determine how a potential babysitter would rank a "need" or emergency.)
16.  Are you comfortable being in my home at night or for an extended period? (Some people get nervous about being in someone else's home after dark, for example.)
17.  Do you know how to prepare a simple meal? (Don't assume a person knows how to properly use an oven or microwave.)
18.  Do you know how to feed an infant? A toddler? Do you know what to do if a child chokes? (You want to hear things like the sitter being knowledgeable about never to prop a bottle or heat it up in the microwave, or to feed a youngster uncut grapes, for example.)
19.  What is your hourly rate of pay?
20.  What hours and days of the week are you available to work? (Ask if there are any particular times/dates a potential sitter cannot work.)
21.  What type of commitment will you provide me that you will honor our agreement to babysit and not cancel? (This question is particularly important if you are hiring a sitter for key holidays or busy times such as New Year's Eve.)
22.  What babysitter qualities do you have that should make me want to hire you? (A good babysitter may talk about kid activities or art projects already planned, fun and games, a strong sense of humor, etc.)
23.  What was your worst babysitting experience, and why? (See how the candidate worked through the problem.)
24.  Do you have a list of references? (If you have not already spoken with someone about the babysitter beforehand, be sure you call and talk with references before entrusting a person to care for your child.)
25.  What can I do as a parent to help make your babysitting experience with my kids a success?

The above questions and warning signs come from an article found at the link below:
http://childcare.about.com/od/homecare/bb/nanny.htm